school
by Axletia Rosonetis
Summary: Life can be hard to pick up, especially when you have inexperienced parentals. Oneshot.


_school_

 _I don't even know how inspiration strikes sometimes. But I like writing Gladion._

* * *

Pillows muffled and obscured Gladion's surroundings as Hatsune Miku's "The World Is Mine" blared through his headphones. He wasn't quite sure how Lillie's taste of music was like this...nor was he sure if he should completely rule this out of his playlists yet. It wasn't much of his style, sure, but it was kind of catchy. Ha-Malasada Boy would definitely nag at him to give it a chance, at least.

After the second or third Miku song, he could vaguely hear someone pounding at his door, and he was pretty sure he knew the reason why, so he pulled one of the pillows closer to his face. He'd forgive Lillie for practically anything, even murder, but Malasada Boy always had that friggin smile on his face, always wanting to try anything and everything new. If someone went and tried to scam him for money, that boy would probably empty his pockets out and cry in a heartbeat.

Even _thinking_ about that pissed Gladion off more than he already was, and he clawed at his pillows until suddenly there was a swift slap and everything was light again. The pillows were on the floor, and the boy met the angry, cool gaze of Plumeria. "Squirt. You know we have that parent-teacher meeting in an hour," she growled, crossing her arms.

Gladion rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know. Not going."

"You didn't tell us what was going on, and I took off time from work, so we're gonna go even if I have to get Salazzle to drag your ass through the mud. It's bad enough I have twice as much trouble trying to get Guzma to look and act like a "normal" adult."

Plumeria was still pretty young by adult standards - early twenties and in cosmetics school with two part-time jobs - but she _was_ a former Team Skull admin, so it was still a little shocking to see her in any form of professional setting. Her usual braids was tied into one, thick one, and her beige pant-suit made her look more like an office worker than an ex-criminal. Even so, he knew she'd rip that suit off in a second to kick someone's ass. Not his, but someone's. Even so, he had to stay strong. "I'm not...going."

"It's not because your emo style won't let you wear that school uniform any longer than you hafta, right? Fuck that uniform. You know I don't care if you go out in just your t-shirt in boxers if it's not a school day. Or..." Plumeria smirked at this, "is it because you and Hau broke up?"

" _We're not dating!_ "

"I know you're not. But you and I know that sometimes we gotta do things we don't wanna, and that includes seeing your ugly teacher. Now move your ass."

"Fine, I'll move my ass. Think fast!"

Grabbing a water gun from the side of his bed, he squirted Plumeria directly in the face and ran for it. He was used to squirting Guzma instead, and he knew this was a terrible idea, but he was out of options. Sprinting across the hallway, he nearly bumped into the old man along the way, who was still in a tank top and probably booty shorts. Probably Burnet's, that cheap scoundrel. There was shouting, and more shouting, and he blocked all of it as he headed towards the window. If he could just reach the rooftop, he could climb the trees and wait until the meeting was over...or crash at Nanu's for a few weeks. The old copper probably wouldn't care much.

He almost reached the window. And then faceplanted against the floor. And as he could feel Salazzle dragging his ankles across the carpet, he knew that if he lived through this, he'd definitely be grounded.

* * *

"Your...Gladion is out of control."

Gladion was glad he was dissociating because this meeting was a mess. There was his teacher, an old hag who had it out for him from the day they first made eye contact and he called her a hag. There was Guzma, bored and picking his nose as the air-conditioning breezed through his hairy legs and borrowed booty shorts. There was Wicke, who had technical custody of him and was currently crying her eyes out at the very thought of him straying from his path...again. And there was Plumeria, looking like an annoyed office worker who would suplex her co-worker at the slightest screw-up of their job.

Good impressions all around. All they needed was Faba to complete his expulsion circle.

The teacher sighed and shook her head. "We understand that Gladion's been through a lot these past few months-"

"Forever," Wicke sobbed.

"What?" the teacher asked, sounding annoyed. "I'm sorry, I really don't know all of the details. I know Gladion's been through a lot, but he's not progressing as far as he should. You know we had to put him in...in the remedial class for math and reading-"

"Special ed. Because he's disabled and because he hasn't been in school for two years," Plumeria interrupted. "We thought you guys could help him work through his dyslexia since having a dyslexic uncle helping him wasn't enough."

Guzma kept his finger mid-nostril. "Oh, me? Yeah. I mean, we try to do schoolwork in between commercials because he needs to learn the basics of WWE before he can start reading more. That's basic school."

"...Guzma, you went through graduate school. You did not learn only during commercials in between your wrestling crap."

"And during math lectures. Tapus, I really hated calculus. Ya learn nothin'."

Everything was sounding more hollow by the second, the only thing growing louder being Plumeria's anger. "Besides special ed we agreed on counseling two days a week because we couldn't afford counseling with a real therapist yet, but just like when I was in middle school, the system isn't working, apparently. Why are we even here?"

"I should've saved some money for a therapist alongside his video...games...FGHHHHHHH-"

"Wicke, you're not at trial here. We all agreed you were Fun Grandma."

"FFHGHGHGHGHGHHGH-"

Fun Grandma kept loudly blowing at her nose. Guzma put his hands behind the head and looked out at the parking lot. Gladion was far away from where he was. If he just disconnected a little more, he might've been able to smell the ocean. The teacher slammed a hand against her desk, exasperated. "We aren't getting to the root of the problem at all!" she snapped. "Gladion can't keep going on in school like this! He's failing his classes, he's defying me and the other teachers, and he broke one of his classmates' noses! _That's_ why we're here right now! We're very fortunate the student's parents hasn't come demanding he be suspended on the spot-"

He had enough. Knocking his chair to the floor, he was brought back to all of the unbearable noise and mix of emotions, and he spoke for the first time since he got there. "That asshole deserved it," he growled. "He called me the r word and a queer and then he shoved Mala- Hau's lunch bag to the ground. Like I'm gonna let him get away with it."

"Gladion, we already told you you can't bully your classmates like that."

"Hold on a fickle fackle!" Wicke cried. "The...you...what was he supposed to do?"

"Yeah, lady, whenever I got called the r-word I always chased after them with my pop's golf club," Guzma added, shrugging. "Outta all the problems our cousin's dealin' with, you pick the one that he solved himself. We're gonna take him out for ice cream after this. Plums, weren't you saying we wanted to transfer him into the caps' school anyway?"

"We wanted to wait until Hau transferred, too, which should be next semester if his parents still wanna," Plumeria said, sighing, "but if he's not learnin' anything here and his life's a living hell, there's no point in makin' him go here any longer. We might as well teach him ourselves."

"I'll teach him all the neuroscience I know!"

"Professor Booty Shorts, first we gotta make sure he has the basics down without overloading. But yeah, I think we're done here. Thanks for making me miss a day's worth of pay. I'm glad you guys care more about some punk's nose than our kid's well-being. Let's go, Gladdo."

Plumeria placed a hand on his shoulder, and he was shuffled out of the room despite his teacher's protesting. Along the way Wicke placed both her hands on his shoulders, and halfway through the corridor he could feel his head sinking into her chest as she pulled him into a crying, tight embrace. He winced - he wasn't very used to that kind of affection and didn't like it that much - but he let it go since he didn't want her to have a panic attack before driving them home. Guzma stood on his side and, after a few moment's of hesitation, ruffled his hair. "Gladdo, buddy, ya boy thinks you're on a much better track than he was when he was in middle school. It's tough."

"I used to be a better student than this. I'm sure Lillie's kept up with her schoolwork."

"Yeah, but that was before or during your mental health going in the can. Probably during," Plumeria pointed out. "It's not your fault things happened the way they did, but now we all have a responsibility to help you out. We're your family."

"What about me punching out that kid's nose?"

"Shit happens. Probably not the best action in reality 'cause we might still have to pay his hospital bills, but it felt the best. Shouldn't've called you those words. So we're gonna go out for ice cream, and then I'm gonna tug at your cheeks until you apologize for spraying me with a water gun. Parenting's sometimes like this."

All Gladion could do was nod. After all of the nonsense with _her_ , they were slowly trying to get back to some functional version of their lives. It wasn't going as fast as he'd have liked, so he was glad they all had the patience for this. Perhaps Malasada Boy was onto something with taking chances. As they started walking again, he pulled out his headphones and looked up at Guzma. "Hey, Pops, you wanna listen to this music my sister sent me?"

Guzma raised an eyebrow. "What'd Princess send to you now?"

"Hatsune Miku."

"...gimme your phone right now immediately."

He should've kept his mouth shut as the rest of the walk was Guzma belting out lyrics to "The World Is Mine" by heart. Then Wicke began to hum under her breath and within a few seconds and a hearty backslap she joined him in his caterwauling. Then Plumeria stopped in the middle of the parking lot and picked Gladion up above her shoulders. And as they ran to the car Gladion took Plumeria's phone and took a picture of them all. " _save me,_ " he texted to Lillie as he felt the air in his hair and Miku in his hopeless caretakers.


End file.
